Despair and Lost Memories
by InsanePhoenix
Summary: After losing her parents and going into hiding, she soon comes to her end. Only to return as a Hollow, unable to remember the past. A burning desire to remember causes her to search for the key to her memories. OC name revealed later for suspense


A/N: Yet another formatted slightly different from my normal. I loved writing this. Jeez, this one's been here for I don't know how long. XD

Summary: After losing her parents and going into hiding, she soon comes to her end. Only to return as a Hollow, unable to remember the past. A burning desire to remember causes her to search for the key to her memories.

Disclaimer: I do not own BLEACH I simply wrote this story for my own amusement.

**Prologue**

A pair of silver eyes stared at a moonlit sky expressionlessly. A sudden sound nearby made them dart to the left, searching for the source of the noise. Black hair hanging down the back of a slender female body whipped to the side as the female figure stared at the place where something had stood moments before.

A slight hiss emitted from her slender throat, as she glanced back at the tent where her sister and best friend were sleeping soundlessly; unaware of the dangers that were approaching. Worry characterized her delicate features as she turned back toward where the sound had come from. She hissed again, noticing a figure dressed in black crouching behind a bush.

"Soul Reaper, your attempt at not being detected has failed. State your purpose, though I'm fairly sure I know it already. You've been tailing us for a while." Her soft, silky voice whispered dangerously. It was apparent that she did not like the fact that she and those with her had been followed.

"If you think you know my purpose, why don't you state it then _Quincy_?" The Soul Reaper said in a vehement voice as he stood up, his full height towering over the bush he'd been hiding in. He had his arms crossed over his chest, a brown eyebrow raised at the black haired female before him.

"You're here to kill what's left of my family, aren't you? Are you after my friend too, you jerk!" She responded, glaring at him and raising a hand to point at him accusingly.

"Quite correct... Don't worry, I'm not alone. It will be over soon." The brown haired man stated. His voice would have sounded comforting if his words weren't suggesting that he planned to kill her and those she cared about.

"What the hell do you have against Quincys? We haven't done anything wrong." She hissed, narrowing her eyes. This guy was trying her patience by threatening her family and friend. It was something unacceptable in her eyes. Her pride didn't allow her to see the Soul Reaper as anything more than a threat to those she cared about.

"Nothing that you need to know, really... Seeing as your life is about to end." He drawled, smirking.

"You're despicable. And by the pride of the Quincy I can't allow you to-" Before she could finish her sentence two screams sounded behind her, causing her eyes to widen as she turned quickly to stare back at the tent. Two black cloaked figures exited the tent and darted away into the night; both splattered with blood.

A tear ran down her face and she screamed in rage at the loss of the ones she loved. She never had time to notice the brown haired Soul Reaper attacking her from behind...

**Escaping the Despair**

**Chapter One: The Amnesia**

**_Our despair drowns out what we wish to remember that which we wish to forget torments us. Our names are lost to that which consumes us. A lust to find that lost information drives us mad in our attempts._**

Sand blew across deserted plains, white dunes standing out against a moonlit sky. It was cold. Too cold for comfort. Why could she feel anything in the first place? Silver eyes flickered open, and stared blankly at the backwards moon in confusion. Nothing registered with her. Why was she here? How long had she been here? It felt as if she hadn't moved in hundreds of years.

Suddenly a strange hunger crept up inside her, making her suddenly scowl. She was being pushed into the depths of her mind by a creature she couldn't pin a name to. The other being snickered and told her it was doing her a favor before she went completely numb, unable to see with her own eyes anymore.

She wasn't going to be pushed aside so easily. Suddenly, she managed to force the other presence into the depths of her mind and sneered at it. _You have no right to control me. This is my body._

Confusion radiated from her as she opened her eyes once more and stood up. What had happened? How did she get to this place? Why couldn't she remember anything? Too many questions were flowing through her mind, and she shook her head to rid herself of them. She felt the slight hunger again, and tried shrugging it off, walking slowly toward a strange white building in the distance.

She may have been unsure of where she was, but she was sure of the fact that this was not a place that living beings would find themselves in. It was a matter of remembering how she died. All memory was lost to her, and she couldn't figure out anything. Not even her name was remembered. _Who am I...?_

Hours of walking ceased when she was unable to move any longer. Efforts to move had become too difficult, due to a foreign weight on her back. She'd already taken notice of the fact that she had a black, scaly tail, and claws on her hands and feet; but couldn't think of the reason for the weight on her back. Thoughts were even evading her, as she was too exhausted to think anymore. With a slight crunching sound, she collapsed in the sand, falling asleep instantly.

Inside the white building, not far from where the female lay sleeping, a pink haired scientist was staring at a computer screen, taking notes about the subject that he'd been studying for weeks now. This particular subject was fascinating, and he was starting to hope for an encounter with him. If is luck was good, maybe he would get to do just that.

An annoying voice interrupted his note taking as the video he'd been watching ended. "Master Szayel Aporro. Radar makes strange noise... strange." A small, round and chubby figure said, hopping slightly, as if wanting all of the scientist's attention.

A sigh of irritation left his lips as he looked up from his work and glared at the small figure. He didn't like being disturbed while he was working. And he especially hated it when the disturbance came from his own subordinates. They had been taught to leave him alone during his working hours unless absolutely necessary.

"What is it, then hmm?" Szayel asked, putting down the pencil that he'd been writing with slowly. It was obvious he was reluctant to stop working, just because something was showing up on the radar.

A radar system had been set up around the palace of Los Noches to keep intruders from entering. This particular system had the ability to give readings on the power of the being's spiritual pressure, should one appear. It was an ingenious plan that Szayel had suggested and created by himself. His brilliance was often referred to as madness in the eyes of the others. He'd never agreed with many of them. One being he absolutely never could agree with was his brother Yylfordt, who always brought his sarcasm into even minor conversations. The two of them had always bickered about the way that the scientist did things.

However, Szayel's brother wouldn't be bothering him anymore. He'd died in a battle when he went on a mission with that fool of a leader, Grimmjow. The scientist had intentionally put spirit-recording bugs on him so that he could gather information, seeing as his brother hadn't been paying attention. He'd been using the information to study the opponent that Yylfordt had faced; Renji Abarai. So far, what he'd gathered was fascinating to him.

Standing up with a sigh, he glared at his subordinate and shook his head. If it's another hollow-lizard I'm going to kill you..." He muttered, walking over to the small beeping device that was in a dimly lit corner of the room.

One glance at the radar told him that it definitely wasn't a lizard, or anything of the sort. It was a decent sized dot, indicating it was at least human size. What it was remained a mystery, but he knew it wasn't one of the Espada; the others who worked under the Soul Reaper Aizen Sosuke. Raising a pink eyebrow in interest, he glanced over his shoulder and smirked.

"I'll be back, Verona. Make sure you don't do anything foolish, will you?" He said rather sadistically. He'd found something interesting, and was surely going to check it out. If Verona screwed up his lab again he'd be furious.

Standing, he made his way out of his lab and headed toward the position that was indicated on the radar. The white hallways were deserted, which was unusual. Most of the time there were arrancar everywhere, going to different parts of the palace and coming from other parts. This in itself was strange.

Turning a corner, the scientist encountered one of his fellow Espada standing near the door that led outside. It was Grimmjow, leaning on a wall, with teal strands of hair falling across his forehead lightly as he leaned his head forward. The other male noticed Szayel immediately and looked up, making a face at him.

"What brings you to leave your lab, huh Pinky?" Grimmjow asked, smirking at him. Szayel rolled his eyes and ignored the rather violent individual who'd addressed him. He rather loathed the nickname that the other Espada had given him. While it was true that he had pink hair, he did not enjoy nicknames that made fun of him for his hair color. He liked pink, but being made fun of was just unacceptable.

Brushing his pink hair out of his eyes as he opened the front doors to Los Noches, stepping out into the sandy, and seemingly lifeless landscape. The eternal moonlight reflected off of glasses on the scientist's face; remnants of his hollow mask. The sun never shined in Hueco Mundo; it was a land of eternal darkness, ruled over by the hollows and arrancars. Without sunlight, no plants grew, but crystalline remnants of an ancient forest that lie in caverns under the sand caused tree-like rocks to be scattered randomly across the landscape.

Amber eyes surveyed the landscape, and spotted something rather strange. It looked almost like a bat, but with scales. This was definitely a hollow; but its spiritual pressure was higher than that of normal ones. There was something special about this one, that much was obvious. Szayel made his way toward the being and realized it was unconscious. Perfect for collecting and taking to Lord Aizen. The scientist would definitely get a reward for finding this, seeing as it seemed different from other hollows. Maybe if he was lucky it would be made one of his subordinates because it was his finding.

He easily lifted the being and realized it was female, and raised an eyebrow in curiosity. There was no profound mask on her face; only a few scattered scales made of the same material as hollow masks. She obviously took no notice of his lifting her, and he began to make his way back toward the palace. This was definitely an interesting find. Most of the time, hollows that were found outside Los Noches were brought inside and made into arrancar. It wasn't uncommon for one of the dwellers of the place would find them and take them inside. Those that went inside never came out looking the same as they had when they entered; and all became parts of Aizen's army.

When the pink haired arrancar reached the white doors of Lord Aizen's throne room, he closed his eyes and smirked lightly before shifting the female hollow in his arms so he could knock. After the sound of his knock had finished echoing through the hallway, a voice called through it, telling him to enter. In one swift movement the scientist opened the door and entered.

**Chapter Two: To Remember Only a Name**

**_To remember one thing, is to unlock the path to remembering all that was lost. Memories reveal themselves in time._**

A voice. That was all she heard. Wait, no... Two voices. _What..?_ She thought sleepily. She could tell that something was supporting her weight. What was it? Was it the source of one of the voices she was hearing?

Opening her eyes, she looked directly into the face of the pink haired scientist, and stared at him. He simply reached and pushed up his glasses and smiled. There was something strange about that smile that she wasn't sure she liked. She thought that the pink hair was just plain odd.

"Ah, I see you're awake. Good." His voice said, as he looked at something that was obviously behind her. She pushed herself away from him and he reluctantly let her go so she could turn around.

Her eyes met those of a man wearing a white robe-like garment, sitting on a high throne. He was smiling, something that for some reason made her shiver. Something about this man made her feel uncomfortable, but she wasn't sure why. The room around her was brightly lit, and she could feel the presence of two others in the room. One of them wasn't visible at the moment, but the other had silver hair, and was grinning slyly like a fox. He seemed slightly intimidating as well.

Glancing back at the pink haired figure, she narrowed her eyes. It was obvious that he'd brought her here, and even more obvious that he didn't intend on letting her leave either.

"That makes matters slightly easier and more difficult at the same time. Good to see you awake. Have you a name..?" The brown haired man asked, shifting his weight in the throne. She looked up at him, silver eyes glinting.

"I do not retain memories of who I am. So, who is to say that I have a name?" She said, staring at him. Why was something about him slightly familiar? He seemed like he was a faint memory of some sort; someone she'd known once before. But why?

She stood, staring at him with a baffled expression as he began smirking at her. She felt insulted for some reason. As if that smirk were mocking her. As if **he** knew something she didn't. That feeling wasn't something she was comfortable with.

"Many don't remember their past, or even their names, until they become Vasto Lordes or arrancar. It is the only path that unlocks the memories that are held back by the hollow inside you." The man said, making her close her eyes and sigh. Not remembering bothered her just as much as the smirk had; if not more.

Something bothered her about talking to strangers. She needed names, something to associate them with. She was going to do whatever she could to become an arrancar. If her memories would come back, it'd be worth whatever freedom she'd end up losing.

"I will not speak more before I know your names... please.." She said, looking down, absently, as if trying to avoid eye contact.

"Sosuke Aizen." The brown haired man said, placing his head on the pal of his hand and leaning on the arm of his throne. He looked slightly bored, even as he glanced toward the one with silver hair that was standing nearby.

"Gin Ichimaru. I hope ya remember. Some tend to forget, and call me 'Fox Face'." The smiling man said, his eyes remaining closed as they had been the entire time she'd been in the room. _How does he see like that?_

The pink haired scientist was the next one who spoke. "Szayel Aporro Granz, scientist and research leader here in Los Noches."

A small snort escaped her as they finished their introductions. She found Gin's name amusing; it was 'silver' in Japanese. That was essentially his hair color; such a typical name.

"Now... if the introductions are gone.. I have a question for you." Aizen said lazily. He almost sounded amused by the whole situation. What was so funny about this?

"You do not have to wait to ask, you know. I'm not going to be here forever waiting."

"I understand how you feel there.. Anyway... Would you like to become an arrancar?"

Her eyes widened and she stared at the man with brown hair in shock. She had expected this offer, but the opportunity still shocked her. She was thankful now, that he had asked instead of being forced to become one. Now having it as a choice, she was at ease.


End file.
